I have a very great fear of bugs. Particularly spiders. I always knew I had a fear but lately I’ve discovered that this fear is pretty ridiculous! We recently remodeled our basement and made it into a family room and bedroom. Lovely idea, however, scarey. Scarey because it seems like my family room used to be a critter abode. My poor husband has been made to spray a few times and is called on to kill any lingering demons that the spray doesn’t prevent from making their way into my space. I will admit that it has gotten to be somewhat rare for me to see a bug but when they come out, it’s bad, very bad. I try to be tough but as of late I have discovered just how awful my phobia is. When I moved into my new room downstairs I would lay in bed and pray that no bugs would get to me and I would flip my lamp on and off to make sure there were none near. It hasn’t gotten any better. I have, however, gotten to the point where I can kill them myself. When I do though it is a big production…

I feel like spiders are bad but not as bad as what we call the “hoppy bug”. The hoppy bug is a very large creature that has the body of a cricket on sterroids. It looks like you mixed a cricket and a spider to create this thing. It has these monster legs that empower them to jump hundreds of feet. If their appearance wasn’t bad enough, they will attack you. You think I’m kidding, but I am NOT. Hoppy bugs will charge at you and will hop around until they have intimidated you so much that you surrender and run. I believe their proper name is a camel cricket. But ever since I was little (due to their ability to jump higher than a sky scraper) I have called them a “hoppy bug”. These creatures apparently had the understanding that my basement was their home. So, after many bug sprays had been coated the surroundings of the house and after many of their family members were made examples of, you would think they would get the picture and go elsewhere but no. We still occasionally see one and have to do away with it.

The sad thing about all of this is that my dear 2 year old daughter has inheirted my phobia of bugs. I have tried from day one to convince her that there is no reason to be scared of bugs but it is difficult. Do you know how hard it is to try to tell a 2 year old, “No, honey, don’t been scared of that moth,” when you are running around the house dodging it out of fear yourself?! I do think I had made a pretty good effort up until today. Yes, today I failed. I was upstairs cleaning when Berkeley makes her way to me and in a stage of panic says, “Mommy, there’s a lady bug downstairs. You need to get it!” Well, every bug is a “lady bug” to her and I have never seen a lady bug downstairs, so I had a feeling it was more than a mere lady bug. Panic struck as I made my way downstairs. I cautiously examined the walls of the stairway (because these nasty things have sticky legs that give them the advantage and let them cling to the wall, ceiling or anything else they come in contact with). I reluctanly asked her to show me where the “lady bug” was and she pointed over towards the chair. There, between the chair and the couch it was….the hoppy bug. “Broom, mommy, go get the broom.” So, I followed her orders and got the broom….

There we were, both back 6 feet from the thing as I held the broom out as far away from my body as I could. I braced myself for what was about to happen (because the same thing happens every single time I try to kill one of these stupid things). I smacked the thing as hard as I could and up it jumped. It jumped all over the stinkin family room as I tried to hit it. When I did hit it, it would just hop back up as if it were immortal. That’s another thing about these creepy bugs, they can actually pretend to be dead and take a few good whackin’s. Just when you think it’s over, BOOM, they get back up!!! We chased it, it chased us. “Get it, mommy, GET IT!” She yelled, as if I wasn’t just as terrified of it as she was. At one point, I think we both cried. I whacked it and up it came, I whacked it again and up it came again. This went on for a good 5 minutes and then, finally, it ended. I guess I hit it just enough times to end its useless life. Then, we vacuumed it up. I wasn’t taking any chances of that thing hopping back up while trying to scoop it up with a piece of toilet paper. After the drama had ended I came to the conclusion that I was never, ever going to convince my children that I wasn’t scared of bugs. So, I’m not even going to try.